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Happy Marriage Quotes Marriage Night Quotes


Happy Marriage Quotes Marriage Night Quotes
Happy Marriage Quotes Marriage Night Quotes




A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills.  A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor.  ~Paul-Jean Toulet

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive.  ~Juvenal, Satires


We were happily married for eight months.  Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.  ~Nick Faldo


Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


The reason they're called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled - it's just the opposite!  ~Walter Winchell


By the time you're his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
~Dorothy Parker


Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale.  ~Robert Graves


If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.  ~H.L. Mencken


My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.  ~Lee Trevino


To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash


"What's for dinner?" is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Most marriages can survive "better or worse."  The tester is all the years of "exactly the same."  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.  ~Barry Goldwater


People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images.  The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is.  ~James L. Framo, "Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy"


Men have a much better time of it than women.  For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.  ~H.L. Mencken


I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
~Author Unknown


No man expects a great deal from marriage.  He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse.  ~Author Unknown


Think not because you are now wed
That all your courtship's at an end.
~Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza


Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.  ~Arthur Baer


I came from a big family.  As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.  ~Lewis Grizzard


There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.  ~Martin Luther


Alimony - The ransom that the happy pay to the devil.  ~H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae," A Book of Burlesques, 1920


If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.  ~Author Unknown


Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.  ~Zsa Zsa Gabor


I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.  ~Noel Coward, 1956


Thus Dante's motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage:  "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind."  ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love


Wasn't marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded.  Wasn't it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt.  ~Edna Ferber, Show Boat, 1926


"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.  Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?  ~Author Unknown


Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966


Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness.  ~Virginie des Rieux, Epigrams


Wedlock is a padlock.  ~John Ray, English Proverbs


The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it:  we are better judges of convenience than we are of love.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.  ~Samuel Lichtenberg


The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.  ~H.V. Prochnow


Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence.  Without parole.  ~John Mortimer, The Trials of Rumpole


One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour.  ~M.M. Musselman


Marriage is like a bank account.  You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.  ~Irwin Corey


If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.  ~Katharine Houghton Hepburn


The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.  ~Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals


Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage?  ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love


What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love.  ~William Penn


On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.  ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love


Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.  ~Billy Connolly


Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.  ~St. Jerome, Attack on Jovinian


[M]y mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.  ~Armistead Maupin, Tales of the City, 1978


The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous.  ~H.L. Mencken


A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life.  To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones.  ~Ellen Key, quoted by Sprading in Liberty and the Great Libertarians


Any married man should forget his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.  ~Duane Dewel


Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.  ~Rita Rudner


Then marriage may be said to be past in all quietnesse, when the wife is blind, and the husband deafe.  ~Thomas Heywood, "Dialogues"


Come, let's be a comfortable couple and take care of each other!  How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.  ~Charles Dickens


A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.  ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays


Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.  After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.  ~Minnie Pearl


Love is grand; divorce a hundred grand.  ~Author Unknown


It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.  ~Balzac, Physiologie du mariage, 1829


A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union.  He is an incomplete animal.  He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.  ~Benjamin Franklin


And when will there be an end of marrying?  I suppose, when there is an end of living!  ~Tertullian


The surest way to be alone is to get married.  ~Gloria Steinem


[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.  ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally


It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.  ~Robert Frost


I never even believed in divorce until after I got married.  ~Diane Ford


As a man, I've learned that there is nothing easier in married life than pleasing your wife with your cooking.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money.  That was a true but incomplete answer.  In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.  ~Gloria Steinem


Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.  ~William Congreve, The Old Bachelor, 1693


If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.  ~Alan King


They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.  ~Alexander Pope, The Wife of Bath, 1713


Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.  ~Evelyn Hendrickson


When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come and sit in that house and sing for joy.  ~The Brahma Sutras


Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.  ~Author Unknown


If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.  ~Anton Chekov


The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.  ~Heinrich Heine


The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.  ~Cher


If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.  ~Kin Hubbard


Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in?  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Representative Men, 1850


When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.  ~Prince Philip


You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding.  ~Jim, age 10


It gives me a headache to think about that stuff.  I'm just a kid.  I don't need that kind of trouble.  ~Kenny, age 7, when asked if it's better to be single or married


Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder.  ~Thornton Wilder


No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.  ~H.L. Mencken


Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance.  ~Michel de Montaigne


I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within the year.  ~Bette Davis


Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.  ~Madeleine de Scudery


Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.  ~Josh Billings


Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.  ~Groucho Marx


Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?  ~Barbra Streisand


No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.  ~Benjamin Disraeli


In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued.  ~Helen Rowland, Reflections of a Bachelor Girl, 1909


He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.  ~Mae West


The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.  ~A.P. Herbert


Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.  ~Elbert Hubbard

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